One question that is asked by many young girls is why my boyfriend did break up with me after a physical relationship. Generally, it is found young couples date each other and after some time they mutually agreed to have a relationship. But after the relationship, the boy broke up with his partner by giving silly excuses.
Why did this happen?
What is the psychology behind a breakup after a physical relationship?
Do genetics play any role in this?
Neurologically a lot of biological information we don’t know about the physical relationships and why a girl is emotionally attached to a boy after a physical relationship even a casual one.
The main problem is that there’s not a lot of research available on how humans fall in love. This is because of two reasons the way we conduct research and the problem to get many volunteers.
In ancient times we can’t measure what is exactly going on in a person’s mind. But nowadays with technological advancement, it is possible to pinpoint the location of the brain which is more active when a person feels or thinks about a particular behavior. To fully understand this complex phenomenon we should understand hormones.
What are hormones?
Our brain is constantly communicating with the rest of our body via special chemicals called hormones. These microscopic chemicals influence our mood, emotions, energy level, and even our physical drive. They travel in the blood and work slowly throughout our bodies.
Hormones are the chemical messenger that tells our body how to grow, eat and regulate. Hormones are released the whole day in our body, each has a different function. There are three hormone neurotransmitters that get released during the physical relationship.
They are serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin hormones. They are so powerful that really lead to falling someone for another and a person can’t stop thinking about them. It’s because of the hormones that make us feel like we fall in love after a physical relationship.
Role of Oxytocin in relationship
This hormone is the so-called love hormone and the body releases it when we touch someone near and dear whether it be a friend a relative or a lover. Oxytocin boosts feelings of love and relationship. Oxytocin is known as the cuddle hormone or the trust hormone.
It is the same hormone that gets released when a mother is nursing their newborn baby. It provides this sense of security, attachment, and love. Oxytocin exists for biological reasons but sometimes that gets released when you’re having a physical relationship with somebody. Physical relationship and attachment are connected due to the oxytocin hormone only.
Oxytocin makes people happy and high levels of oxytocin help us to effectively fight stress increase drive and even lower blood pressure. When a person is stressed tired or unworthy, it may mean that his body’s level of oxytocin is too low for people. This kind of problem tends to stay at home avoid communication and never had the energy to meet up with others or keep up a conversation.
Can we control oxytocin?
The answer is ‘No’. The human body and the brain cannot determine how much oxytocin is sufficient. It is a completely biological process without human awareness. The release of hormones happened at an unconscious level.
What happens during the physical relationship?
When humans fall in love they show exclusiveness to one person. When two people make a physical relationship, there is a surge and release of different hormones in their bodies. Hormones make us feel happy.
For women the oxytocin slowly builds up during the dating phase from the kissing, cuddling, and spending quality time together. But during physical relationships oxytocin increases instantly and skyrockets.
A girl is attached to a stranger after a physical relationship because the hormone oxytocin is produced by women a lot more than it’s produced by men. She feels more secure and trusts somebody. It also increases empathy.
The oxytocin from the physical relationship makes a girl feel like she could trust this person. It is presumed that physical relationships and attachment are interconnected.
For men, there are hormones being released unfortunately they don’t catch feelings the same way a girl does after a physical relationship. So that’s why men get more of a simple pleasure from physical relationships than a very emotional connection.
But at the same time, a girl after a physical relationship can’t stop thinking about her partner. It’s more like a simple pleasure for men kind of like a rush of dopamine but for a woman, it is like everything.